Wake up *wipe spittle from mouth-breathing maw,* scroll Twitter to find the biggest streamer who’s online. Time to waste my life for the 1,000th+ day in a row. JK, I’m hilarious and brilliant, yeah?
It wasn’t always like this, I used to seek attention by other means. Blurt out obscenities in the middle of class. Pull of inappropriate “pranks” at inappropriate times. All the classics. Trust me, I need the spotlight at any cost.
Now, I can get my attention-seeking fix just by sitting on my computer and loading into game-after-game with a suspecting or unsuspecting streamer. My comical antics reach 1,000s of people. Big time stuff I’m doing. All this hard work will plug me into the social pipeline.
Can’t wait to do this for another 1,000+ days more. The most fun and rewarding activity to do as a human being. Basically, where is my Nobel Prize at? This kinda thing earns. Earns & burns, as they say. But seriously, I’m doing such a good job. Right? Right? Right???
Drinking G Fuel and finding my next streamer, l8er. They are going to be so thrilled to see me.