Last Nights Grime

Hideo Kojima’s upcoming sci-fi epic, “Death Stranding,” shines light on those who risk it all to deliver the mail.

Your neighborhood mail person and Norman Reedus are tasked with cargo delivery in unspeakable conditions. It’s a thankless job, but someone has to bind the fractured United States back together. Watch out for them inter-dimensional monsters on your route. They’ll get ya.

Mail people share routes and advice–and so does a player-controlled Norman. Yes, offering help to others is a large component in “Death Stranding.” Though a weeb’s lense, it’s obvious Hideo glorifies individuals who are in the delivery business. Jeez Luis, did he create an entire AAA game and possibly new video game genre dedicated to the U.S. Postal Service??? Absolute mad lad, this guy.

Perhaps after the game’s release on Nov. 8 there will be an influx of heroic delivery people. Everything would be right in the world.

Enough goofin’ around, “Death Stranding” will be a milestone in video games. Whether it sucks or not. Either way, mail folks are winning.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Here is the latest trailer:

What “Blasphemous” is trying to say, however, goes right over this pleb’s head. Developers, The Game Kitchen, focus on religious imagery and Old English to progress the narrative. It sounds and looks very cool, but I just don’t know the context of most of that content. Despite the story, everything is made whole in “Blasphemous” with slick combat and exploring. Let me explain.

“Blasphemous” goes heavy on slashing, dashing and parrying. Think of a side-scrolling “Dark Souls,” if you will–thanks weebs. The core mechanics work almost perfectly in “Blasphemous.” Bad-ass sword upgrades take the slaughter to another level. For instance, purchasing the slide attack allows The Penitent One to thrust his sword mid-slide for devastating damage. That’s one of many brutal options in the extensive skill tree.

Thank goodness this game’s map isn’t procedurally generated. Why does procedurally generated stuff ruin exploration? Well, when everything is always unfamiliar, what is the point of visiting the spot in the first place? “Blasphemous” & “Super Metroid” use a very similar map system. It’s beautiful, simple and should be the gaming standard lol.

Closing statements. “Blasphemous” has a trippy, religious story, but everything else in the game really thrives. LNG approved for sure.

Leave a comment if you agree, fam!

Peek at the trailer here:

Papa’s got a brand new bag.

Over Labor Day weekend 2019, I got married AND spent a $1-0-0 Best Buy gift card. Well, LNG what did you drop that sweet ,sweet illusion money on? I’ll tell you right below, GO!!!

“Astral Chain” fam! The weeby PlatinumGames title has been on my radar for like ever. Everybody knows that I’m quite obsessed with Japanese games that have flashy combat/visuals. Plus, the reviews have been super positive. Talk about being pushed over the consumerist edge. A combo made in heaven.

Bigger surprise purchase here, actually pulled the trigger on “Super Mario Maker 2.” Picked it up from Gamestop, yep. Like, is it weird that I don’t want that company to go under? Support those weebs. “Mario Maker 2” is fun by the way.

Back to “Astral,” the thing is what is nice in the world. I’ll leave it at that. Hope you got it. KK, love you. Bye.

Is it the dope 2000s or something?

“World of Warcraft” Classic officially went live on Monday, August 26, 2019 to hella eager fans. What is “WoW” Classic? According to CNET, it’s the same old Blizzard game before the many years worth of expansions. The MMO king is back to the basics and people are losing their nut.

Have I ever played “WoW” myself? Nahhh. PC games have always eluded me in my gaming career. My family computer, which was an eMachines from Best Buy at the time, couldn’t exactly play games or do anything for that matter. Regardless, I’m still impressed by this game. The way players get absolutely absorbed and addicted to the grind is unlike anything I’ve seen. Friends dedicated literal months of gameplay time to “WoW” and it looks like we have a second coming of that type of behavior. Too late for me to get into “WoW” now though. I’m just a pleb.

Here is a close friend of mine’s Twitch channel who will be grinding “WoW” Classic for a loooong time:

Epic’s extremely polarizing shooter/builder, free-to-play game with arguably zero soul is a gem on the Switch. Oh lawd, it’s “Fortnite.”

Criticizing “Fortnite” is so easy. From the bros who play it to annoying build mechanics, the game begs to be put down. After all the drama, “Fortnite” still runs away in the battle royale popularity race. So, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Here’s the right way to play “Fortnite”–on the Switch, duh.

Graphics

Bros Intro aka “Fortnite” looks like something a 10 year old assembled at computer summer camp. PC, Xbox and PS4 waste graphics power on this game. On the other hand, the Nintendo Switch is primed and ready for such a graphically poor title. Something about way the game plays just fits the Nintendo handheld hybrid system. Kinda janky, but forgiven because it’s on the Switch.

Skill

Next point to chop on, the Switch “Fortnite” players aren’t absolute pros with a desire to build into the heavens like on other consoles. Positive skill gap makes the game so much more enjoyable–and needless to say, playable. There’s nothing wrong with mingling with noobs, if you are a noob yourself lol.

If you own a Switch, give “Fortnite” a whirl. There won’t be any Ninjas or Tfues ready to destroy you on the map, promise.

Speaking of Ninja, he’s not on Twitch anymore, Rip. Anyway, here’s his latest YouTube video. Ninja, I expect a PayPal money drop for this.

Lastly, leave a comment. Tell me I’m a pleb. It’ll be fun.

“Picross Lord Of The Nazarick” is one part puzzler, ten parts weeb. Together it’s a jumbo cool time.

“Overlord,” the anime in which the game is based on, is strange. And translating that into Picross looks something like this. Basically, a giant skeleton is working to gather memories. Solving Picross puzzles serves that purpose. Other quirky characters offer up different stories. That is literally that until all memories are recovered. Side note, the writing has some edge to it and garners a few laughs.

Even if you’ve never seen the anime, it’s easy to appreciate the art style and the accompanying puzzles. How to describe Picross puzzles for those who’ve never played? Well, it’s like Minesweeper on meth. That, and it’s harder–but much more rewarding. If you can’t count good(lol), these games will be a challenge. Another reason why I find these games so tough.

For $9.99, “Picross Lord Of The Nazarick” deserves purchase. Puzzler fans should be stoked there is even a Picross game on the Nintendo Switch. Despite the game’s completely weeb antics.

Here is the trailer:

Being a pleb Nintendo Switch owner–first-party–quality games come few and far between. So, it’s like, you see “Super Mario Maker 2” release and things get nasty tempting. But there’s something holding me back.

Map creation doesn’t get me there in the slightest. I prefer to leave that bit to the level designers who are the absolute pros. Most of the community created maps are either of these 2 options: easy AF or stupid impossible. Of course, this is what I’m seeing from streamers playing the game.

Custom “Mario” maps come with a sharable code. Friends and randos can play your level at the drop of a hat. It’s a great concept. I would put the map code on my business card. A code to my best level, of course. Maybe write the code on a piece of paper, put that into a bottle, then chuck that shit into the Pacific. Get a pirate all riled. There are many options. Rallying anyone and everyone to play your custom map appeals heavy.

Honestly, “Fire Emblem: Three Houses” releases soon. A $100 Best Buy gift card lurks in my wallet. Maaaaaybe, I get “Mario Maker 2” and the new “Fire Emblem”? That would be a deep trigger pull. You know I’ll keep you guys updated.

PS. I never have mentioned this, but you don’t have to have an account to comment on LNG.com. So, if you want to dispute any of the craziness that I spout out on here. Feel free to say something, no strings attached!

It’s with a heavy heart to announce that the new variation of the Switch can go fly a kite.

Complaining about unreleased products is easy. That’s why I’m doing it lol. But seriously, portable mode only? The OG Nintendo Switch’s key appeal is the docking the system for play on your home entertainment center. Getting rid of the docking feature kind of defeats the purpose of the whole affair. Portable is cool, but it’s half of the battle.

Let’s hope they fix the Joy-Cons’ inevitable drift after prolonged use. It’s worth mentioning the Joy-Cons are permanently affixed to the Lite. So, maybe Nintendo will smarten up and fix their controller issue before this updated console launches on September 20. Something inside of me thinks they won’t. Why? Because if a Joy Con goes wonky on the Lite the consumer will either have to buy a new unit or get it sent in for a fee.

Expectations were high for the Lite. I wanted something that was portable, but didn’t lose as many of the Switch’s mainstay features. Being a Nintendo fanboy it pains to me say that this console feels like a misstep. If you already have a Switch, there would be no reason to get the Nintendo Switch Lite.

Take a look at the full announcement here: