Video Games

Epic’s extremely polarizing shooter/builder, free-to-play game with arguably zero soul is a gem on the Switch. Oh lawd, it’s “Fortnite.”

Criticizing “Fortnite” is so easy. From the bros who play it to annoying build mechanics, the game begs to be put down. After all the drama, “Fortnite” still runs away in the battle royale popularity race. So, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Here’s the right way to play “Fortnite”–on the Switch, duh.

Graphics

Bros Intro aka “Fortnite” looks like something a 10 year old assembled at computer summer camp. PC, Xbox and PS4 waste graphics power on this game. On the other hand, the Nintendo Switch is primed and ready for such a graphically poor title. Something about way the game plays just fits the Nintendo handheld hybrid system. Kinda janky, but forgiven because it’s on the Switch.

Skill

Next point to chop on, the Switch “Fortnite” players aren’t absolute pros with a desire to build into the heavens like on other consoles. Positive skill gap makes the game so much more enjoyable–and needless to say, playable. There’s nothing wrong with mingling with noobs, if you are a noob yourself lol.

If you own a Switch, give “Fortnite” a whirl. There won’t be any Ninjas or Tfues ready to destroy you on the map, promise.

Speaking of Ninja, he’s not on Twitch anymore, Rip. Anyway, here’s his latest YouTube video. Ninja, I expect a PayPal money drop for this.

Lastly, leave a comment. Tell me I’m a pleb. It’ll be fun.

“Picross Lord Of The Nazarick” is one part puzzler, ten parts weeb. Together it’s a jumbo cool time.

“Overlord,” the anime in which the game is based on, is strange. And translating that into Picross looks something like this. Basically, a giant skeleton is working to gather memories. Solving Picross puzzles serves that purpose. Other quirky characters offer up different stories. That is literally that until all memories are recovered. Side note, the writing has some edge to it and garners a few laughs.

Even if you’ve never seen the anime, it’s easy to appreciate the art style and the accompanying puzzles. How to describe Picross puzzles for those who’ve never played? Well, it’s like Minesweeper on meth. That, and it’s harder–but much more rewarding. If you can’t count good(lol), these games will be a challenge. Another reason why I find these games so tough.

For $9.99, “Picross Lord Of The Nazarick” deserves purchase. Puzzler fans should be stoked there is even a Picross game on the Nintendo Switch. Despite the game’s completely weeb antics.

Here is the trailer:

Being a pleb Nintendo Switch owner–first-party–quality games come few and far between. So, it’s like, you see “Super Mario Maker 2” release and things get nasty tempting. But there’s something holding me back.

Map creation doesn’t get me there in the slightest. I prefer to leave that bit to the level designers who are the absolute pros. Most of the community created maps are either of these 2 options: easy AF or stupid impossible. Of course, this is what I’m seeing from streamers playing the game.

Custom “Mario” maps come with a sharable code. Friends and randos can play your level at the drop of a hat. It’s a great concept. I would put the map code on my business card. A code to my best level, of course. Maybe write the code on a piece of paper, put that into a bottle, then chuck that shit into the Pacific. Get a pirate all riled. There are many options. Rallying anyone and everyone to play your custom map appeals heavy.

Honestly, “Fire Emblem: Three Houses” releases soon. A $100 Best Buy gift card lurks in my wallet. Maaaaaybe, I get “Mario Maker 2” and the new “Fire Emblem”? That would be a deep trigger pull. You know I’ll keep you guys updated.

PS. I never have mentioned this, but you don’t have to have an account to comment on LNG.com. So, if you want to dispute any of the craziness that I spout out on here. Feel free to say something, no strings attached!

It’s with a heavy heart to announce that the new variation of the Switch can go fly a kite.

Complaining about unreleased products is easy. That’s why I’m doing it lol. But seriously, portable mode only? The OG Nintendo Switch’s key appeal is the docking the system for play on your home entertainment center. Getting rid of the docking feature kind of defeats the purpose of the whole affair. Portable is cool, but it’s half of the battle.

Let’s hope they fix the Joy-Cons’ inevitable drift after prolonged use. It’s worth mentioning the Joy-Cons are permanently affixed to the Lite. So, maybe Nintendo will smarten up and fix their controller issue before this updated console launches on September 20. Something inside of me thinks they won’t. Why? Because if a Joy Con goes wonky on the Lite the consumer will either have to buy a new unit or get it sent in for a fee.

Expectations were high for the Lite. I wanted something that was portable, but didn’t lose as many of the Switch’s mainstay features. Being a Nintendo fanboy it pains to me say that this console feels like a misstep. If you already have a Switch, there would be no reason to get the Nintendo Switch Lite.

Take a look at the full announcement here:

Don’t argue this, LNG is the best “Tetris 99” player on this side of the Mississippi. You wanna be LNG? Well, this winning-winning-winning knowledge can be yours… Continue reading!

Colors

Tile colors, commit them to memory, you will. Enough Yoda voice. Straight up though, knowing the tile shape just by color will allow you to build smarter and faster. Don’t be a pleb, color up.

Focus

Know when to switch your point of attack to the KO option. Making this clutch selection will help you score tasty badges. Badges, of course, send more of your cleared lines to opponents’ boards and vice versa. Get focused ADD boi.

Practice

Put like 100+ hours into the game. Put like 200+ hours into the game. Make “Tetris 99” your life’s priority. The chances are still extremely slim that you will ever actually get a dub. Don’t ever expect a dub. Practice anyway hehe.

As your coach, expectations are high. So, no more weebing about on “Sekiro,” remember those 100+ hours? Drink your F’ing G Fuel, sign into “Tetris 99” and start playing like geeked out maniac. Thx.

By some divine intervention, LNG was able to attend E3 2019. Also, hella thanks Andrew.

After making our way to the first convention hall, we played “Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin.” Since the Marvelous USA Inc. booth was right by the entrance and it wasn’t busy, why not give their game a shot? Anyway, the side-scrolling game is fun as heck. LNG randomly played this at last year’s E3 but this time I got my hands on the Switch version. “Sakuna” makes scarf combat look good.

Following the first game demo of the day, we walked around just taking in the incredibly detailed booths, collecting swag along the way, of course. Nothing beats the feeling of going full Halloween-mode on the free giveaways in there. The swag haul: 4 pins, 2 sample boxes of gamer energy powder, 3 shirts, 3 bags, duck caller, sunglasses and other things I’m forgetting about.

Nintendo’s presence dominated the second convention hall. Yes, they had cool games to demo, but the wait time to get at them–and I quote–was “4 hours.” So, naturally LNG said F that noise and went to play the charming “Biomutant” game and suck down a (free) Bang energy drink.

LNG is now geeked AF on Bang, running around playing indie games that are littered around the show floor. Again, just so much to look at. Can a booth make you say “Holy Toledo!”? Yes, quite literally, yes. Sooo, obvi its time to get something to eat.

As you can imagine the cheese fries with rice topping kinda sucked ass, but credit to me for thinking up such trash.

The pictures can show off the convention madness better than I ever can put to words.

Cool, I’ll be drinking G Fuel and be playing “Tetris 99” until next year’s show.

Picture this, EA PLAY 2019 stream. Respawn has the opportunity to show off everything new and exciting about “Apex Legends.” And zonk, they blow it.

Respawn’s razer-sharp focus on cosmetics truly wasted anyone’s time. Yes, they announced season 2, ranked play and a character and weapon, but that just isn’t enough to keep casual players, like myself, interested. When the game has no more life left, skins can go toss one. No joke, BR rival “Fortnite” does bigger updates on a weekly basis. Literal depression.

Stunningly garbage: “Apex” season 1 battle pass. Unforgivable effort on EA’s part. Out $9.99 that could have been used towards a G Fuel tub. It’s a no go on season 2 for me dawg.

How many other players think “Apex” is toast just like your boi LNG? Let me know in the comments.

Here is the E3 announcement for season 2:

21 year old Turner “Tfue” Tenney, a famous Twitch streamer known for his “Fortnite” abilities, is suing FaZe Clan, the gaming group that arguably skyrocketed his career. Let’s take a super-trendy look at the lawsuit drama.

What Is FaZe Clan?

Founded back in 2010, FaZe community consists of like 30 bros guised as gamers. One being Tfue. Do most of them have tattoos? Yes. Are they all mostly handsome? Yes. Does FaZe accurately represent gamers? No. All in all, the community kills it on Twitch and YouTube alike with 81 million combined YouTube subscribers, 9.7 billion combined YouTube views, 11.2 million Twitch followers and 53.6 million Twitch views. Citation.

Added bonus, here is a tweet from FaZe’s COO:

Who Is Tfue?

Twitch and YouTube-famous “Fortnite” pro. 21 years old. Possibly best in the world. Before making it big in gaming, Tfue’s repertoire consisted of bro-tastic stunt videos. Same vein as “Jackass.” Now, the youngster is raking in millions playing Bros Intro. To put Tfue’s popularity into perspective: his Twitch streams have been viewed more than 120 million times, and he has more than 10 million YouTube subscribers and 5.5 million Instagram followers. Citation.

Paralegal Beagle

So, an 80% FaZe Clan and 20% Tfue profit contract doesn’t sound appealing and he wants out. That’s the abridged version to the max. Yes, at first glance the contract seems rough, but what is the price of blowing up on the main video platforms? Priceless by today’s standards.

Going public with a huge lawsuit puts Tfue in a weird spot. He’s going after an organization built on the shoulders of bros. They won’t go down without a super annoying, loud fight. Where the popcorn and G Fuel at? This is about to get wild. Find me at the clout house.