Last Nights Grime

Don’t argue this, LNG is the best “Tetris 99” player on this side of the Mississippi. You wanna be LNG? Well, this winning-winning-winning knowledge can be yours… Continue reading!

Colors

Tile colors, commit them to memory, you will. Enough Yoda voice. Straight up though, knowing the tile shape just by color will allow you to build smarter and faster. Don’t be a pleb, color up.

Focus

Know when to switch your point of attack to the KO option. Making this clutch selection will help you score tasty badges. Badges, of course, send more of your cleared lines to opponents’ boards and vice versa. Get focused ADD boi.

Practice

Put like 100+ hours into the game. Put like 200+ hours into the game. Make “Tetris 99” your life’s priority. The chances are still extremely slim that you will ever actually get a dub. Don’t ever expect a dub. Practice anyway hehe.

As your coach, expectations are high. So, no more weebing about on “Sekiro,” remember those 100+ hours? Drink your F’ing G Fuel, sign into “Tetris 99” and start playing like geeked out maniac. Thx.

By some divine intervention, LNG was able to attend E3 2019. Also, hella thanks Andrew.

After making our way to the first convention hall, we played “Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin.” Since the Marvelous USA Inc. booth was right by the entrance and it wasn’t busy, why not give their game a shot? Anyway, the side-scrolling game is fun as heck. LNG randomly played this at last year’s E3 but this time I got my hands on the Switch version. “Sakuna” makes scarf combat look good.

Following the first game demo of the day, we walked around just taking in the incredibly detailed booths, collecting swag along the way, of course. Nothing beats the feeling of going full Halloween-mode on the free giveaways in there. The swag haul: 4 pins, 2 sample boxes of gamer energy powder, 3 shirts, 3 bags, duck caller, sunglasses and other things I’m forgetting about.

Nintendo’s presence dominated the second convention hall. Yes, they had cool games to demo, but the wait time to get at them–and I quote–was “4 hours.” So, naturally LNG said F that noise and went to play the charming “Biomutant” game and suck down a (free) Bang energy drink.

LNG is now geeked AF on Bang, running around playing indie games that are littered around the show floor. Again, just so much to look at. Can a booth make you say “Holy Toledo!”? Yes, quite literally, yes. Sooo, obvi its time to get something to eat.

As you can imagine the cheese fries with rice topping kinda sucked ass, but credit to me for thinking up such trash.

The pictures can show off the convention madness better than I ever can put to words.

Cool, I’ll be drinking G Fuel and be playing “Tetris 99” until next year’s show.

Picture this, EA PLAY 2019 stream. Respawn has the opportunity to show off everything new and exciting about “Apex Legends.” And zonk, they blow it.

Respawn’s razer-sharp focus on cosmetics truly wasted anyone’s time. Yes, they announced season 2, ranked play and a character and weapon, but that just isn’t enough to keep casual players, like myself, interested. When the game has no more life left, skins can go toss one. No joke, BR rival “Fortnite” does bigger updates on a weekly basis. Literal depression.

Stunningly garbage: “Apex” season 1 battle pass. Unforgivable effort on EA’s part. Out $9.99 that could have been used towards a G Fuel tub. It’s a no go on season 2 for me dawg.

How many other players think “Apex” is toast just like your boi LNG? Let me know in the comments.

Here is the E3 announcement for season 2:

21 year old Turner “Tfue” Tenney, a famous Twitch streamer known for his “Fortnite” abilities, is suing FaZe Clan, the gaming group that arguably skyrocketed his career. Let’s take a super-trendy look at the lawsuit drama.

What Is FaZe Clan?

Founded back in 2010, FaZe community consists of like 30 bros guised as gamers. One being Tfue. Do most of them have tattoos? Yes. Are they all mostly handsome? Yes. Does FaZe accurately represent gamers? No. All in all, the community kills it on Twitch and YouTube alike with 81 million combined YouTube subscribers, 9.7 billion combined YouTube views, 11.2 million Twitch followers and 53.6 million Twitch views. Citation.

Added bonus, here is a tweet from FaZe’s COO:

Who Is Tfue?

Twitch and YouTube-famous “Fortnite” pro. 21 years old. Possibly best in the world. Before making it big in gaming, Tfue’s repertoire consisted of bro-tastic stunt videos. Same vein as “Jackass.” Now, the youngster is raking in millions playing Bros Intro. To put Tfue’s popularity into perspective: his Twitch streams have been viewed more than 120 million times, and he has more than 10 million YouTube subscribers and 5.5 million Instagram followers. Citation.

Paralegal Beagle

So, an 80% FaZe Clan and 20% Tfue profit contract doesn’t sound appealing and he wants out. That’s the abridged version to the max. Yes, at first glance the contract seems rough, but what is the price of blowing up on the main video platforms? Priceless by today’s standards.

Going public with a huge lawsuit puts Tfue in a weird spot. He’s going after an organization built on the shoulders of bros. They won’t go down without a super annoying, loud fight. Where the popcorn and G Fuel at? This is about to get wild. Find me at the clout house.

Note: This review is based on the Nintendo Switch port that released on Apr 23, 2019.

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Combat is slick. Feels similar to the slashing in “Shadow of Mordor” and “The Witcher.” At a press of the shoulder button, attacks can be varied to keep the flashing attacks fresh. Reminiscent of the special abilities in “Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.” Pawns, NPC characters who serve as your companions, help drain enemy HP. Weapons feel weighty, so hitting baddies actually feels delightful. For a game that initially released in 2013, the combat feels modern. Worth checking out today!

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Looot. There is gear to find everywhere. Roofs, bushes, branches, beaches, boxes, every little nook and cranny has a little treat hidden away. Obviously, this rewards players who thoroughly explore the vast open world. However, the game kinda suffers from “Monster Hunter” syndrome, meaning there are way to many strange herbs and plants to collect. A sense of overwhelming washes over you after you’ve picked up your 100th Sunbright flower, but have no idea what it’s actually used for. Small gripe, but okay.

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All around the Switch port of call of “Dragon’s Dogma” is nice. At $30 bones, the fantasy experience isn’t worth passing up. This goes double if you’re a jumbo weeb, like me.

Devs–gather ’round–and listen close. You’re f–ked.

Epic’s “Fortnite” aka Bros Intro to Video Games has something most notable shooters don’t. Their build mechanic. Guess what? That’s what will allow this game to stand the test of time. Essentially, that particular gimmick is breaking “Fortnite” away from its competitors.

Here’s where the devs, other than Epic–of course–come in, create something unique! “Fortnite” has no right to continue its uncontested reign as king of Twitch, bros and little kids across the world. Devs, here’s a hint: shooter with silly gimmick–but not for 5 year olds. Boom! $5B video game idea right there. EZ game EZ life.

Let’s get this straight, I respect the hustle of “Fortnite.” From constant updates to famous players, it gets plenty of things right. The game has done wonders for mainstream video games. It literally introduced bros to video games lol. Who doesn’t love a lovable bro? Also, famous streamers like Ninja have become household names. Unheard of. Like I said, Hustle and bustle.

Anyway, developers have to put on their pants and thinking caps if they want to even be in the same arena with the Bros. A simple shooter just won’t cut it with audiences these days. Shooter+ is really the only way. So, in the mean time, I’ll be drinking G Fuel in my combat boots. Adios.

Nearly 3 months after the release of “Apex Legends,” is it fair to say Respawn Entertainment and EA, pulled one over on us all. See the evidence.

Upon initial inspection, when the game first came out, “Apex” looked really, really nice. Fun map, fast gunplay and it appeared to not be riddled with bugs. 3 months later, “Apex” in actually is littered with visual and audio bugs(some have been patched). I take special-boi umbrage to audio bugs. What the hell is a BR game without solid audio? What will play through my Astro A40s–glitched out sounds? Not okay!

Respawn needs to step up and make me eat my words on this one. Sure, the devs have been teasing new modes, but how about prioritizing the numerous visual and audio issues instead? The game won’t last otherwise.

Let’s be honest, “Apex” tried to capitalize on features “Fortnite” was missing. The respawn points and ping systems were so cool at the beginning of the game’s lifecycle. Now, without skipping a beat, Epic implemented both of these components into “Fortnite.” “Apex,” you silly dog, thinking you could be the better game using these cheap methods.

I still wanna flex “Pex”–but Respawn PLEASE fix the bugs at lease on the PS4. Please, please, please. Until this happens, I’ll be over here slurping roast and G Fuel at the same time.

Without further ado, here’s Shroud being V good at FPSs: